Seven Self-Actualization Books That Can Change Your Perspective
Do you have a desire to learn and grow through introspection but don’t really know where to start? It can be overwhelming, as there are countless paths you can take to learn more about yourself. Self-actualization isn’t about striving for perfection or constant self-improvement - it’s about coming back to your Self, coming home to your soul. One of my favorite ways to learn more about the human experience, and be gently guided back to my Self is through reading. There are innumerable books on depth psychology, spiritual development and growth, healing, and the path to wholeness that can change your perspective. In this article, I will share a few of my favorite reads from my own journey, both classics and more modern takes, on the path to actualization, or to knowing yourself more fully.
Why Read About Self-Actualization?
Reading does not need to feel like a chore - it can be a helpful practice to use as a tool to understand what self-actualization means, and for self growth and reflection. I have not always been a reader, in fact for a time in my adolescent years I claimed to hate reading. That was until I had an English teacher my sophomore year who took the time to understand why I thought I hated reading and helped me find books that inspired me, that spoke to my soul. In the middle of class one day, he literally walked me to the school library and helped guide me to pick out a book that I felt drawn to. The verdict - The Cider House Rules by John Iriving. It turned out to be the book that changed my perspective and made me a reader! More on that later.
How to Choose the Right Self-Actualization Book for You
I don’t think you can go wrong when it comes to choosing a book to start with. As you will see in my personal list, I have many different genres and perspectives for the books that have felt most meaningful to me in my own journey of Self discovery. I believe that any book can be a catalyst for growth. I encourage you to tap into your intuition - maybe even use this as a way to practice listening to your inner knowing - and follow what your gut tells you on what book or books to start with. Do you have any specific goals or topics you would like to focus on? What lights you up? Can you follow the illumination as a guide? Maybe use it as a starting point to be led to the books that feel right for you.
Why I Chose These Books
First and foremost, I chose these books because they spoke to me in significant ways on my journey to learning about myself. This list is in no way exhaustive, I LOVE to read and could curate an endless list of books that could offer guidance for you on your journey. I have narrowed it down to the top seven that have been catalysts for my own growth and left lasting impressions.
Seven Books About Self-Actualization That Impacted My Journey
This list is personal and is in no particular order. Each book is enlightening in its own right. Reading is a tool, a mirror that can help you see yourself more clearly and can offer you insight into the human experience - often showing you places you can go before you have been there yourself. This list is designed to serve as a starting point. I encourage you to read other books by the authors listed and begin to curate your own list. These are a few of the books that have helped to shape my journey.
1. Falling Upward by Richard Rohr
Best for: This book takes you on a journey to discovering your soul and to redefining midlife and beyond, through illuminating the two halves of life. The first half is about building an identity and the second is about finding depth and a sense of Self, often after a crisis or "fall".
Why I read it: I was raised as a Christian but always felt stifled by the incongruencies I noticed in the church doctrine and desired a more open and inclusive spirituality. This book served as a major impetus in my movement from dogmatic religion to self-defined spirituality. It helped me to see the beauty in my suffering, to learn from my pain and identify my growth edges - to integrate all of my parts - shadow and all, to be a more whole and authentic Self.
Main takeaway: The spiritual path often involves suffering. Through curiosity and openness your suffering can be a spark that ignites your Self healing and opens the door to your self actualization journey.
This book allowed me to see purpose in my painful and challenging life experiences - divorce, the death of my brother and dad, and coming out after thirty. It gave me a gentle path to follow after deconstructing from the religion of my upbringing and feeling a sense of uncertainty regarding my self defined spirituality moving forward. This book is a great starting point - especially if you grew up in organized religion and are seeking self defined spirituality and wholeness. Christian mystic Richard Rohr describes how “necessary suffering” serves as a portal to spiritual growth and to entering the second half of life. If you are looking for hope on your journey and deeper meaning in your suffering this book is for you!
2. The Cider House Rules by John Irving
Best for: This book shows that fictional stories can be a part of understanding yourself better - as much or even more so than self help or books written specifically for the spiritual path.
Why I read it: This is the book my aforementioned high school English teacher prompted me to pick off the shelf. He would not stand for the belief that I hated reading and guided me toward reading something that was both thought provoking and inspiring. I could not put this book down. My Sagittarius heart (my moon, Uranus, Neptune, IC are all in Sagittarius in my fourth house) lit up with the task of learning different and new (to me) philosophies through story!
Main takeaway: We all have an intuitive voice within us, and the process of self actualization will ask you to examine your unconscious and shadow material to grow. The process of self actualization can be uncomfortable as you challenge once held beliefs and social norms.
I love this book. I read this when I was in high school in the nineties. My upbringing included being indoctrinated into the pro-life movement, marching alongside my mom at the local March for Life and never learning any nuance related to abortion and abortion rights. This story allowed me to see a different perspective and challenged me to think outside of the cultural norms I was born into. It helped me shape a new world view that felt true to me, rather than as a result of the conditioning of others and the desire to belong. This is a depth oriented book because of the themes of coming of age and learning to tap into one’s own intuition rather than follow the collective unconscious and group think. It is self growth and actualization through story.
3. Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarisa Pinkola Estés
Best for: Mythology and archetypal personas are explored to shed light on psychological and spiritual patterns the world over - from ancient days to the present.
Why I read it: I had heard from many colleagues and advisors that this book would help me better understand myself as well as depth psychology.
Main takeaway: The Wild Woman archetype has been buried. Through patriarchal moves to be “civilized” the life-giving messages of this energy have been stifled. This book encourages the remembering of your inner Wild Woman (regardless of gender identity) and a return to the knowing of your soul.
I often call this book my bible because it has served as a guide and anchor on my path back to my authentic, sovereign and WILD soul. I love it because you can bounce around - as each chapter highlights a different cultural myth, story, or folk tale. Clarissa Pinkola Estés shows the human, thematic, and archetypal elements of storytelling through a Jungian and depth oriented lens. If you feel the call from within to reignite your inner wild soul and to remember what it is you came here for, this is truly the only book you will ever need.
4. Sovereign Love by Dene Logan
Best for: Looking at the ways your wounds and patterns show up in relationships and how to stay on your path to self actualization and sovereignty while relating.
Why I read it: I love relationships. Anddddd I have always desired to be both held and free (thank you Mary Oliver for these words) in a relationship. Dené helped me understand how to create that!
Main takeaway: This read highlights what needs to be cultivated in order to co-create a partnership that is rooted in transformation, spiritual growth, shared vision, and interdependence.
We are relational beings - regardless of your relationship status, preferences, or style - learning how to relate while staying true to yourself can prove challenging. Our society promotes patriarchal and codependent ways of relating - unlearning these social constructs is necessary for love that is sovereign and rooted in freedom and self evolution. This book is a gentle guide in embodying your whole self - the healthy feminine and masculine energetics, and applying them to your relationships. It is a return to your path of becoming more of who you are - maintaining sovereignty and freedom, while also engaging in relationships.
5. This Here Flesh by Cole Arthur Riley
Best for: The examination of inherited stories from family and culture to better understand yourself both as a physical being and spiritual Self.
Why I read it: Cole Arthur Riley and her Black Liturgies account on instagram always speak deeply to me and have served as a guide for my own introspection and healing - a bridge between my humanity and physical body and spiritual Self.
Main takeaway: What it means to be both human and spiritual. This read is poetic and lyrical - it explores the visceral reality of having a human body and human emotions, weaving them together with the spiritual thread passed through stories and generations - illuminating the dignity and liberation therein.
This book shines a light on the real experiences of being Black in America and how that has shaped Cole Arthur Riley’s relationship with liberation, dignity and belonging. It tells the story of love as a practice - the necessity of love as a survival tool. Through story and contemplation you will feel encouraged to cultivate loving rituals with yourself and others. To see the interwoven realities of all life and the ways in which this human experience can inform your connection to your spirituality.
6. The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
Best for: Examining the cultural narratives around bodies - specifically queer, trans, Black, brown, disabled, and larger bodies.
Why I read it: I have struggled in my own relationship with my body and this book served as a balm for the injuries I have endured through that struggle. Radical self love taught me to honor my body and love myself as a form of activism and disruption.
Main takeaway: Radical self love is the anecdote to the body based oppression that is rampant in our culture and society. Bodies are designed to be different - varied in shape, size, color, ability, expression - uniquely individual. Learning to embrace ALL bodies, and especially your own is a radical act that moves us all toward a more just, equitable, and compassionate world.
I don’t talk about this as much since opening Reverie - I worked with folks recovering from eating disorders for about fifteen years and have also navigated my own recovery journey. I am deeply committed to changing the way the world thinks about bodies and food and encourage anyone who is on a journey with your body or with food to read this book! It will support you in challenging societal norms, disrupting harmful beliefs, and expanding your view and relationship with your own body. This one is a do not miss.
7. Anatomy of the Spirit by Carolyn Myss
Best for: Connecting body based wisdom and the seven chakras with spiritual evolution and the physical body - understanding the connection between the physical and spiritual realms.
Why I read it: I am a therapist and Reiki Master and I love to learn about the connections of trauma healing, energy work, spiritual growth and increasing consciousness.
Main takeaway: This book gives you tangible tools for reflection as you move through each of the seven chakras for the development of spiritual maturity and physical wholeness.
Through the seven energy centers, or chakras of the body and the seven sacred truths - root: all is one, sacral: honor one another, solar plexus: honor oneself, heart: love is divine power, throat: surrender personal will to divine will, third eye: seek only the truth, and crown: live in the present moment - Carolyn Myss demonstrates the path to higher consciousness and spiritual maturity. This path shows you that you are capable of developing your own intuition and cultivating personal power to embody your spiritual wholeness.
Reading About Self Actualization Is Only the Beginning
As you explore these books and the paths they open within you, I invite you to let your insights inform more soul expansion - through journaling, quiet reflection, or bringing what you discover into intentional therapeutic work. Reading can be a catalyst, but the integration happens in the spaces where you give yourself time to metabolize what moves you. If you feel called to deepen this journey with support, you’re welcome to explore my individual therapy offerings or our group healing experiences, where we practice reclaiming authenticity, connection, and self-trust together. May these books and the pages therein guide you home to yourSelf.